Posted by daizy on January 17, 2003, at 9:50:16
In the past few days I have been feeling less anxious, and more like I used to in the past. However, im finding it hard to re-adjust. I think ive said this before but, when im not anxious, and panicked, I feel plain depressed. Im kinda feeling like that now. Im only a few days into the new meds and maybe im getting ahead of myself, but im starting to understand why I did such things as take drugs, basically because my life is dull. Thats how I feel now, dull. Im not upto going out with my friends and stuff again yet, so im just chilling at home everyday, not doing much so I have too much time to think. Maybe i made myself anxious as a way of escaping the reality. Ive just got this deja vous feeling all the time, and i keep remembering all the bad stuff in my life that I tried to put to the back of my mind. I FEEL LIKE I AM LIVING IN THE PAST. I need a way to move on. As I start to feel better (which I hope I will) Im wondering how im going to cope, and make things different so as I wont relapse. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you lot cope? I dont have the support that I used to either, I havnt been out with my friends for almost a year, and most of them still do things like take drugs, and I have to try hard not to go down that route again. My family live away now, so its hard to start doing normal things like going out when I am alone. I just think that if I get better i will never be able to forget what it feels like to be depressed and that in itself may stop me from being normal again.
(may not make sense)
poster:daizy
thread:35375
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35375.html