Posted by Eddie Sylvano on December 11, 2002, at 16:28:50
In reply to Re: How come coping mechanisms are never healthy?, posted by WorryGirl on December 11, 2002, at 15:10:45
> Let's say that as an adult I still experienced rude salespeople, bullies in the workplace and physical/sexual abuse (just as I have in my present life, but without the childhood rejection). Would I cope with these events the same way I do now? Probably not.
------------------------You're right about that. Bullies and whatnot don't hold enough sway necessarily to make someone resort to coping mechanisms (especially to a healthy adult), but your parents did. In this case, I would argue that they're the ones that caused you to develop the need for coping mechanisms (insecurity, esteem issues), not the later abuses. If you weren't instilled with those feelings before the bullies came around, you'd probably act differently. I would ask why your parent's rejection didn't spur you to naturally conclude that your parents were wrong (or something else more adaptive), instead of concluding that you're the defective one. Why did we evolve to use self-destructive explainations and methods to deal with things?
> In closing, I handle larger stresses MUCH more effectively. It's the really stupid small stuff that eats me up. What a waste...
---------------Maybe there is something to nature's plan, then. In true crunch times, you act constructively. :)
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:33230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33237.html