Posted by Gabbi on August 2, 2002, at 23:49:01
In reply to Re: Questions about DX...Gab-on » Roo, posted by Gabbi on August 2, 2002, at 22:56:29
Oh well first, I posted a note to someone today saying "oh I'm so sick of hearing myself talk about depression"
After re-reading your post I realized you just said the same thing.My official dx or "title" is cyclical unipolar progressive refractory(treatment resistant)depression with borderline personality traits
I know about feeling defeated about the medication, there aren't words for it, its soul sucking, as far as your morale goes, nevermind just the damn nuisance of always making sure you have it, picking up the prescription, the constant self-analysis.
"Is it my medication, or have I had too much coffee, not enough sleep, am I talking myself into being depressed just because I've been diagnosed with it, that hyper awareness of how you feel all the time"
Although I firmly believe when you are in a major depressive episode there is no question that you could talk yourself out of it or into it.I had inorgasmia with paxil, but not with Prozac, though apparantly the dexedrine helps alleviate that. And dexedrine is only worth it I think if you have the refractory depression, because in itself over time it can actually cause a permanent baseline depression....
ARRRRGH, To just be able to chuck it all in a bag and walk away.
Cycling on and off medication will increase depression this is based in relatively unbiased research but I also learned the hard way. There are just so damn many other possible factors.
Sometimes I have a 'good day' and end up feeling terrible because I have no friends to call, and don't even remember what I liked doing, I can't redecorate my apartment because I don't have one anymore, and in the small town where I'm stuck for now, there just isn't the activity going on that I was used to, so even if I'm not 'clinically depressed' I will trigger another episode. It has also been proven that because of an increase in cortisol that becomes permanent due to the stress of being depressed that the more "episodes" of depression you have the more easily they are triggered thereafter.
There is an interesting study on that but I'll spare you the details.
Its my roundabout way of saying as hard as it is in my opinion don't cycle on and off medication.I didn't mean that to sound whiny either, Its just the frustration, and that worn out feeling you were talking about..
Oh time to Gag Gabbi
once again sorry for the rambly way I have of trying to get across a point...
poster:Gabbi
thread:27642
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020728/msgs/27904.html