Posted by Roo on August 2, 2002, at 9:37:28
In reply to Re: Questions about DX...Fiona » Roo, posted by Gabbi on August 1, 2002, at 16:00:31
> Regarding whether depression gets more complex...
> Unfortunately it does but not always. I'm one
of the lucky "progressive" depression types,
where it's not me who progresses, but the
depression.What's your dx, I forget? What meds do you take? I certainly
feel like I"m not progressing much, but I tend to be too hard
on myself (like a lot of us here)
>
> Its a matter of luck, I swear, of finding
the right doctor. I used to think that my
depression was sprouting new arms and legs
because of my medication, not in spite of it.
Yeah, I think like that a lof of times too...I really do...
I'm not sure if maybe it's all the medication or going on and
off of it that has 'fucked me up' or if it's just a progressive
illness, or if maybe that job trauma way back when just clicked
my brain chemistry into a different place. I guess it doesn't
really matter...it's what I do about it. I'm starting to feel
maybe I do need a mood stabilizer, but I feel all "defeated" about
it.
Sometimes it feels like depression is all I ever talk about or think
about. Back in the day, when I used to just take a 20 mg prozac, it
took care of the depression, and I just got on with life and didn't think
about it all that much.
> My pdoc, very gently tried to tell me he
didn't think that was the case, I branded him
a pill pusher,found plenty of GP's who agreed
with me stopped my medication and the depression
came back but so slowly that of course I didn't
recognize it, and once again O'D.
Sounds like you have had some really awful experiences with
depression (that's an understatement)...I hope you are feeling
a little better these days....less suicidal?> I've repeated this several times, and
each time my pdoc has taken me back without
an I told you so. I've gone from 20mgs prozac
to 60 then added t4 thyroid hormone then added
dexedrine and occasionally benzodiazepines.Oh never mind my last question then, about what meds your
on...
>until I decided
to trust only my "superdoc" finally.How long has your superdoc known you? It is hard to
trust them sometimes, I think. Although I have a very
nice one that doesn't rush me in and out, will let me
gab on about my problems for a long time even though we're
just doing a med check. I've been seeing her over 3 years...I
think she might have a grip on me...I'd always just seen GP's
before then and have never heard of mood stabilizers, AP's or
any of this other stuff. But I quickly became acquainted with
the "med cocktail" way of doing things. It gets confusing then,
though, because it's hard to tell what's doing what.to that person its a matter a good life or a
struggle.It certainly has taken me awhile. I guess it's because
I won't accept certain side effects, such as weight gain
or sexual dysfunction (good luck, hun?!)...well I've HAD
to accept the sexual dysfunction b/c they all have that
(and I've tried the few that don't and they don't work)...
I'm pretty bitter about that b/c sex is important to me,
even if I'm single and not in a relationship, it still is.I wrote a poem last night about my broken heart, and I thought
about you and our "emotional promiscuiousness" and thought of
sharing it with you, but it's too corny!!Hope you are well--Ruth
>
>
poster:Roo
thread:27642
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020728/msgs/27827.html