Posted by Zo on July 5, 2002, at 16:13:39
In reply to this is what happens when.... , posted by Alii on June 30, 2002, at 9:08:59
> Apologies to any who find my reality ugly.
>
No child thinks their reality is ugly. Someone has to plant that idea, usually by disregarding the child's reality completely--a narcisstic parent (which abound)--and/or physical abuse. It is also planted by virtue of the fact that a child doesn't understand the distinctions between it's own reality and that of others, for logical reasons.So that I can pretty safely assume, you see, that your parents failed to mirror that you were beautiful, which you were, and that you introjected the reality around you, which had something ugly in it. The introjection is what makes us grow and be human, when loving parents make us feel wanted and valuable. But that leaves chidren in abusive homes astoundingly vulnerable; it takes years of therapy to throw that introject back up, get that ugliness out on the table, where you can see it--in the company of a caring person. If you haven't seen, you will, that the ugliness has nothing to do with you.
Besides, like on this board we're going to be judging someone? Like everyone isn't show their insides. No blame attends, but if you expose your insides and aplogize for their ugliness, think about it. . .what are you telling your friends when they do the same.
We never do escape the responsibility to teach. .even that which we do not yet know. You are the mirror someone else is looking into, and they need to see they have beauty of spirit.
This is why blocking is abusive; it does the opposite. And that is just plain thoughtless, just plain dumb.
Zo
poster:Zo
thread:25900
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020629/msgs/26089.html