Posted by IsoM on June 16, 2002, at 0:37:09
In reply to Anyone else resent depressed parent?, posted by InsomniaMom on June 15, 2002, at 23:09:48
I wish I had advice to give but I don't. I'm sweet & kind most times but I can be tough when I feel it's necessary so I'm not the sort people will use. My mother is very needy & dependent on me in many ways but I won't let her manipulate me, even unintentionally. If she starts getting too much, I tell her so. I do so in kind language, trying to help her see how she can be suffocating but telling her in a way that will make her think & not just hurt her feelings.
But then your mother sounds very different from mine. My Mom doesn't do it on purpose - she doesn't realise how she comes across & most times I let it slip; only tell her when it's too much for me to take any more.
All I can venture to suggest is to be a little cruel for your sake & that of your family. Perhaps you can discuss it with her doctor in private. If he's going to be treating her, he can't be blind - he'll discover her intentions soon enough. And if he doesn't believe you - too bad for him & your mother. Your mental health & your obligations to your immediate family comes first. After all, this woman also gave life to three others that can do their 'duty' sometimes too. You don't have to be the only one to bear with her.
poster:IsoM
thread:25385
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020531/msgs/25387.html