Posted by beardedlady on May 28, 2002, at 7:05:41
In reply to I threw my boyfriend out: I'm so lonely, posted by angel1 on May 27, 2002, at 20:48:42
My story, then yours:
My husband did not believe in marriage or contracts, yet he proposed to me at a few desperate times in my life (when I was pregnant at 20, when he gave me an STD at 22, etc.). But I was too young and didn't want that to be the reason we married. We bought a house together after about 2 years of renting together, and I asked him when we would get married. I asked him every year. We had to sell that house 9 years later, still living together. At the time, we didn't want kids, but we needed to get out of our neighborhood.
So after 11 years of living together ( I was 32), we got married and had a big wedding so we could get enough money for a down payment on a house, since ours wouldn't sell for six years later!
We celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary tomorrow. We have been in our relationship for almost 20 years.
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Does your boyfriend say he loves you? It's perfectly reasonable for him to be not ready for marriage after just two years, love or not. And $5,000 is a lot of money! (My ring was a one-of-a-kind ruby and diamond chip thing--a very pretty, modern, little expression of love; it was $950. That's what we could afford.)
If he was your best friend, maybe you need to understand him better? Or be a little more patient? (We all have our limits, but why make yourself miserable over this?)
I'm not in my usual man-bashing mode, as my husband confessed to me that, although our lives have been busy and rocky and sometimes lacking in passion, he is still in love with me.
That was worth waiting 11 years for.
beardy : )>
poster:beardedlady
thread:24739
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24757.html