Posted by sid on May 28, 2002, at 1:19:38
In reply to I threw my boyfriend out: I'm so lonely, posted by angel1 on May 27, 2002, at 20:48:42
angel1,
about the ring: it all depends on your beliefs AND your financial situation. And HIS.I personally do not believe in symbols such as a ring or a marriage contract. I believe in actions, behavior, on a day-to-day basis. Show me that you love me - don't tell me, don't buy it for me; SHOW ME. Someone can buy you the greatest ring in the world then turn around and treat you like dirt. That's not what counts, it seems to me.
And for most people, yes, 5000$ is a LOT of money. Money that could be put to good use, perhaps better use than on a ring that may get lost, stolen or broken - a ring that is a symbol, not the real thing (talking about love here). Why not put 5000$ more on a down payment for a house? In a bank account for your future children to go to college? Give it to charity? Pay 5000$ off your student loan instead? Etc... All this to say, there are plenty of alternatives for how to spend money. The fact that you and your boyfriend don't agree on the ring should perhaps be discussed further. Perhaps it's a sign he's not ready to commit. Perhaps he just thinks it's a waste and so many other wonderful things could be done with that money - like a great honeymoon.
Talk to him about it if you regret throwing him out. Explain that you took his comment as a rejection (it sounds like it to me anyway in your message). On the other hand, if there are other problems that you did not write about in your post, ask yourself if perhaps throwing him out was not the right thing to do. Being lonely for now is temporary; if he's not what you're looking for, then don't run back to him just to avoid being lonely. That would not make you happy. Did you throw him out for one little thing, or for many things that accumulated over time and that you could not take anymore? That could make a huge difference in your next step. What do you want in a mate? Is he anything close to it?
To deal with the loneliness, try doing things you like. Call a friend, your family, go out, read, etc... And ask yourself if you'd like to call him back or not. Mind you, he may not want to take you back, but it sounds like you need to figure out your part of the deal.
Good luck.
- sid
poster:sid
thread:24739
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24753.html