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Re: Do you live ALONE w/ your illness? « Libby

Posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2002, at 18:06:33

In reply to Do you live ALONE w/ your illness or what? « ST, posted by Dr. Bob on March 31, 2002, at 10:49:59

[Posted by Libby Bonine on April 2, 2002, at 19:14:31

In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020327/msgs/101007.html]

> I don't live alone with my depression, which is mostly a good thing... but in my case, the only people who seem to understand me are my husband and daughter... and both of them also have chronic severe depression. On good days, we joke that together, the three of us almost make a whole person. On the bad days, we're all so down that nobody can help anybody do anything... Most days, we're somehwere in-between.
>
> In many ways, we do support each other because we all know that this is an actual PHYSICAL illness and therefore, isn't something we can "just get over." WE pull together to cover each other's limitations when we can. The understanding and sense of "we" is really, really nice!
>
> On the flip side, there aren't many days when all I have to worry about are my own symptoms. With two other severely depressed people in the house, there are many, many days when I have to be the one who actually gets up when the alarm goes off and assume the role of motivational speaker until everyone else gets going... when I have to be the one who cooks & does the dishes & keeps track of everyone's "stuff" &... On most of these days, with medication, I feel ok and can deal with it... but on those days when medication doesn't seem to help & I don't feel ok & can't deal with it, I get even MORE depressed because I feel that if *I* stop, we'll all fall apart... On days like that, I can still feel pretty alone...
>
> I think a lot about how unfair it is that I have to be the one who does more than my fair share just because my meds are working better than anyone else's... When I look at it that way, I see that there is a point past which we're all alone...
>
> I know my family loves me, but no matter how much they love me, they can never know what it's like to be ME with MY depression... even if they were willing to take it, they couldn't... When it comes right down to it, my depression is 100% MINE... and that's not unfair or anything... it's just the way this thing works... I'm not alone because I'm flawed... I'm alone because at some point & in some things, everyone is...
>
> Somehow, remembering that helps me.


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