Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 18:24:23
In reply to dear dinah, posted by Krazy Kat on March 27, 2002, at 15:59:52
I'm sorry. I meant my last post to allay concerns but I guess it didn't do the job.
I spent most of the day sleeping due to a combination of excess emotion and the maximum dose of Klonopin I have been given permission to take.
I can only say that this is a case of what Noa so wisely referred to as a flaming amyglada (sp?). I was instantly transported back to middle school and felt all the pain, rage, and alienation I felt then. Except that it seemed enormously important to me to not cry silently this time but to cry aloud. Darned if I know why.
My emotions have been very close to the surface for what seems like forever, and I have never fully recovered from my last, larger meltdown. My therapist actually thinks that might be a good thing (the emotions not the meltdown). Sadist.
Anyway... I'm explaining all this because I feel guilty and embarassed for documenting my little meltdown this time (although as I said it seemed important to do at the time) and I really don't want anyone to be concerned. I didn't closet sit and I didn't cut (although I obtained therapist's promise not to terminate me if I did). I just sedated myself and went to bed.
I'm not feeling that crawling agitation now, so perhaps I'll be able to get some work done tonight.
I really am sorry for worrying you.
You know the funny part. Even though I stubbornly refuse to stop posting unless Dr. Bob bans me, I've probably scared or disgusted the majority of people off of answering me. Ironic isn't it?
(I told my therapist I was borderline. He didn't believe me.)
poster:Dinah
thread:20951
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020325/msgs/21051.html