Psycho-Babble Social | for general support | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Trouble, draw back---Shar

Posted by Gracie2 on March 11, 2002, at 9:32:33

In reply to Trouble, draw back---thanks for your post, Gracie, posted by Shar on March 10, 2002, at 14:08:34


I'm greatful that I did not succeed. I was being selfish, I couldn't have been thinking about my son and my husband, who have been through so much because of me. You can't make up for such a thing but I've been trying. Yesterday I was cleaning the charcoal off my husband's shoes - I don't remember having my stomach pumped but I know it's not pleasant to watch - and I just kept thinking OH my God, I almost did it. I could be in the ground right now!

I don't know what I was thinking. Not only do I not remember that night, I don't remember anything from the previous two days. I thought I missed work but they told me no, you went to work. Spooky.

After a few days in the mental ward I began to feel lucky. My husband and son (I didn't tell anyone else I was there) visited me often and brought me anything I needed - not that we were allowed to have much, not even chocolate (the unfeeling bastards). There were so many patients who never had a visitor or a phone call, my heart really went out to them.

I figure there must be a reason that I'm still here, that it's not my time to go. I will never attempt such a thing again. The hospital food was really bad.

So I'm taking my Seroquel and Naltrexone, which isn't working so I limit myself to two glasses if I do have a drink. This is difficult for me because I do love good red wine, but it scares the bejesus out of the family when I drink so it's no fun. I guess I deserve that.

As for what I feel about myself, it's hard to explain but this pretty much covers it: I tore an advertisement from a magazine and stuck it on the fridge. It's one of those milk-mustache ads - this one has Elton John, standing at the piano wearing one of his normally tasteful suits (polka dots), and the caption says, I'M STILL STANDING.
That's me too, I'm still standing.
-Gracie


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Social | Framed

poster:Gracie2 thread:19502
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19625.html