Posted by Anna Laura on February 9, 2002, at 1:56:45
In reply to how to help a teen in crisis?, posted by christophrejmc on February 9, 2002, at 0:59:43
> Lately I've been talking to a cousin of mine who has been diagnosed with bipolar depression. It's strange for me to talk to anyone from that side of my family (I dislike most of them very much) but she had known that I had spent a lot of time hospitalised as a teenager, and she needed some support from someone who understood what it was like to experience mental illness. I'm terrible at talking about my problems with anyone and even worse at talking about anyone else's problems; but the relationship seems to work quite well anyway.
> I know she has thought about suicide recently and has acted on such impulses in the past. I don't know quite how to handle this. Her parents tend to ignore her illness. She sees a psychologist, but she doesn't feel comfortable talking to him. Her (new) psychiatrist denies that she has any illness whatsoever and refuses to discuss medication options.
>
> I'm unsure of what to do if I suspect she is in danger of harming herself. I do not want to betray her trust (from my personal experience, this is the worst part and as a result I never tell anyone I'm suicidal anymore in fear of their over-reaction). [Many of the strategies used with suicidal adults are very different from those advised for use with adolescents (Pamela Cantor, PhD. has written a few very good articles about this).] Does anyone have any suggestions? I think anything that would harm our current relationship would be very bad, as it seems like I am her only means of support.
>
> Thanks,
> Christophre.I think she needs someone to trust and to look on to in the first place (good thing she found you).
An empathetic, no-judgemental, reliable person is a very precious thing being the first step on the healing path.
Another important thing is getting all the informations you can get about bipolar illness and find a specialist.
I think she should look for other pdocs in the first place, may be you could help her find the right one, leading and supporting her throughout her search.
I'm not a bipolar (i suffered from psychotic depression in the past) but i believe that a uncaring psychologist/pdoc can be worse then having no support at all, as he/she can bring more confusion and despair, adding trouble over trouble.
I entered the major depression tunnel as a young adult (i was 21): i have been misdiagnosed,
labelled borderline, sent to an obnoxious psychoanalist, and given benzos at high doses. I got worse month after month, not being supported at all.
I spent months and years, laying on a couch all day long in a small house, forgotten by my family, in utter dispair, not knowing anything about my illness.
When i searched for help my pdoc would yell at me, saying i grew dependent from benzos,
and the psychotherapist ,that horrible bitch, would scold me telling me i was immature, that i had the emotional age of a fifteen years old girl and that i didn't put any effort in the therapeutic setting, jeopardizing my recovery in the long run. I was thinking about suicide at that point.
In my personal opinion you shouldn't push her or talk about suicide with her unless she wants to.
I think you should show her a way out from confusion and despair, because it's when you feel trapped and see no solution in sight that you think about suicide.
She could benefit from group therapy also, learning how to cope with her illness with the support of others, meeting people who grew better and are leading satisfactory and meaningful lives. I think she needs to hear "healing stories" also.
I firmly believe that if i'd have found the right pdoc, learned everything possible about my illness, i'd not be where i am now, being a college drop out and a chronic depressed adult who thinks about suicide every now and then, wondering if this life it's worth living.
She is still young and the chances of growing better and live a decent life are pretty high right now.
Don't waste time!
Once she gets a little bit better (possibly through therapy and medication) you could try to talk to her family.
She needs all the support and care that she can get.Wishing good luck to you and to your cousin
poster:Anna Laura
thread:17987
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020202/msgs/17990.html