Posted by IsoM on December 17, 2001, at 13:23:26
In reply to I don't think I'm depressed... so what am I??, posted by NikkiT2 on December 17, 2001, at 13:03:54
I think I have an idea of how you feel though I don't feel exactly like you do. My depression never feels 'sad' or tearful. In fact, I rarely cry & when depressed, it's impossible to cry. Just an exceedingly bleak, black feeling with no motivation, no interest in life, & I feel like I have a black, evil heart - no empathy or sympathy for anyone including myself. Depression doesn't have to be about sadness.
A lot of depression comes with different symptoms like panicky feelings or constant anxiety, lack of motivation, anhedonia or lack of pleasure, guilty feelings, sleeplessness or over sleeping, lack of appetite or overeating. You do sound depressed to me, certainly it's not a normal way to feel.
There's lots of support here & in the Psycho-Babble side, discussions of medications that help.
> OK, been doing alot of pondering and reading recently, and have come to a few thoughts...
>
> I don't think I'm actually depressed as such... I'm never tearful, I adore the cuddles and love of my husband, I enjoy reading books... But i can just so no utter point in 98% of things.. There is no point in the future. I don't dwell on the past (other than those oh so embarrasing things I've done) and there is nothing in my life I would change.
> I just fail to see the point of being alive. If I live any longer I'll live to see things i won't be able to cope with. i will end up seeing all the bad things in the world... eg, if I walk down to the shop I will see someone hit by a car.. If I live to next year someone I love will die... Does this make sense??
> It is such a damn burden some days I can barely move. I am constantly looking for situations where these bad things will occur, I have to be 100% alert of every little thing around me, and this makes me ache with the tension of it. If I take my mind off it for one single minute then something will happen.
>
> This is turning into a bit of a ramble, but does anyone know what i mean??
>
> Nikkixx
poster:IsoM
thread:15692
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011216/msgs/15693.html