Posted by paula on December 13, 2001, at 12:01:58
In reply to Re: Defeated/Haunted by my own ineptitude » dreamer, posted by tina on December 13, 2001, at 11:46:44
It may sound silly, but I'm a little jealous of all y'all's critical mothers. At least you have someone to blame! I struggle mightily with feeling utterly inept, but must ALSO deal with the fact that that feeling is totally a construct of my own mind. (Part of my recovery from depression is figuring out how/why this--still--isn't "my fault.") I've been blessed by an incredibly supportive family, great friends and advisors, and yet I still beat up on myself!
Anyhow, I know what you mean. There's something my Mom used to say to me: "Don't ask 'What are they thinking about me?' ask 'What are they thinking?'" She used to say this to me growing up as a way of encouraging me to see that people *weren't* looking at/accusing/dissing/whatever me. I've come to realize in the last year that I sort of beat myself up because I knew she was right and still couldn't stop worrying about what people thought of me. Funny, I can turn support into a negative.
Well, just my thoughts. Really, I do feel grateful for my supportive surroundings. God knows where I'd be if they *hadn't* been supportive! Sheesh!
--p
> found out later in life was a over critical negetive mother always bullying and putting me down often aggressive , she used to do it in front of others outside as well as inside.
> > Maybe you can connect these feelings back to early events then realise it's not you at fault.
> >
>
> Dreamer
> I had a very critical mother. she was anxiety ridden and made every little thing a big deal. She was always saying "people are staring at you" and was always making me feel not good enough. Criticism is her way of life.
> I know this and still, I can't "get over it" I can't let go of the constant feeling that I'm not good enough. That I'm doing or saying the wrong things, at all times.
poster:paula
thread:15432
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011207/msgs/15455.html