Posted by cmcdougall on December 13, 2001, at 10:26:32
What is the deal with depression and procrastination? I have plenty of time to do my tasks, yet I just don't do them - I put it off. Then they pile up, and there's so much to do I don't know where to start.
My pdoc told me to get an organizer and USE it. I use it halfheartedly. I made a list of all the things I need to do and its overwhelming! For instance, I haven't balanced my business bank statement for over a year (and that's just the tip of a monstrous iceberg)... So, I have put the list in order of importance yet I still can't seem to get started on anything. I wake up each morning with the best intentions but end up doing diddly-squat.
I own a little gift shop and have even kept it closed several days a week for the past 4 months (my husband would be furious if he knew). For 3 years I opened it everyday. I have part-time staff to work 2 days a week so I can have time off, but I have been taking FIVE days off, and just leaving the store closed. I've been blaming the bad economy for my decreased sales.
I know what set off this downhill slide - a lawsuit between my husband and his ex started in Sept 2000 and lasted a year (very expensive and ugly). During that time I completely obsessed about everything to do with family law, divorce, visitation, EVERYTHING. The lawsuit was all I could think about. At the same time my effexor started to poop-out. You guys know how it is... It snuck up on me and I didn't realize my depression was coming back - even though I quit taking care of my shop, I quit putting on makeup and doing my hair, woke up at 3:00am every morning, etc., etc. My husband kept asking me what was wrong and I just blew him off.
Well, after a complete "nervous breakdown", withdrawing from effexor (the worst), ending up in the psych ward, and enduring 10 days of intensive cognitive therapy (which all happened in Oct.), I am getting back on my feet.
I've been I'm on a new med cocktail for about a week (after approx 8 weeks of med trials - yuck) and it seems to be working... I actually feel pretty good now. It seems that I have motivation to do stuff - just NOT the stuff I have put off for so long. I just can't get into it. Hopefully, after a couple more weeks on these new meds I will get a grip.
I fell in a deep, black pit that I haven't yet been able to crawl out of. At least now I can see light above me, and if it shines bright enough I hope to find some hand-holds to pull myself out with.
I would be soooooo grateful for any advice or helpful hints on dealing with procrastination and lack of approriate motivation. Thanks in advance,
Carly
Ps - My husband won the lawsuit but paid a terrible price in legal fees, mental and physical health, and marital harmony. But we survive.
poster:cmcdougall
thread:15436
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011207/msgs/15436.html