Posted by Simcha on December 6, 2001, at 7:59:06
In reply to Should i open up to my mother?, posted by Anna Laura on December 4, 2001, at 0:40:49
This depends on what you think of your Mother. Is she a safe person with whom you may share these things?
I'll give you my experience.
My brother is also on medication. He was not able to maintain a facade of "normalcy" or "functionality" as he bottomed out in his depression and alcoholism. He ended up committing himself, going through treatment, and now lives in a 3/4 way house.
I, on the other hand, bottomed out in my own way. I remained financially independent and kept up appearances. I led a double-life. No one really knew how I suffered or to the extent my compulsion ruled my life. They had no idea that I have had sex with over 1000 people. I hid it fairly well.
Even when I was a child I appeared to be more in control that I really was. I was a great caretaker. My mother also loves to live in denial. She really has no idea that I really have wanted to be dead most of my life.
Therefore when I bottomed out in depression at the beginning of the year and asked my doctor if there was anything that could be done my mother really did not have to deal with any of it. The doc put me on meds. Things got better. I shared some of the experience with her and this is the response I got:
"Well, you are experiencing a minor setback. You are not like your brother, you really DON'T NEED THE MEDICATION. You were NEVER DEPRESSED as a child."
When the pdoc determined that my family history and my history of constant depression coupled with at least 4 major depressive episodes in my short 31 year old life warranted long-term treatment I shared this with my mother and this is the response I got:
"I have no idea what that doctor means. You were NEVER DEPRESSED as a child. I'm sure that you will be off of medication soon. You have never been depressed like your brother."
I ripped into her at that point and asked her if she was a doctor. When she answered, "no" I told her (not so politely) that she had no business making a diagnosis and that, basically, she was cracked.
I refuse to share anything more about my treatment with my mother. I now live in Eastern Iowa and she lives in Northeastern Illinois. That separation is VERY good for me. I choose to get support from my chosen family, my friends.
Take Care,
Simcha
poster:Simcha
thread:14856
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/15067.html