Posted by akc on December 5, 2001, at 18:08:57
In reply to Re: But why? » Dinah, posted by Cam W. on December 4, 2001, at 8:27:52
Cam,
There are all sorts of things we do that are "bad" for us. Overeating has a definite link to heart disease and other problems. Not getting enough exercise, drinking too much, smoking. I could lengthen this list. But people reach out to these things as a way to cope. The problem with cutting is that it is not an socially "acceptable" coping form. Just your reaction to this thread is a perfect demonstration of that. Where you might encourage a friend to lose some weight or give up smoking because of the harm it does to one's body, you post about the risks of cutting came across as condescending and holier than thou -- not supportive.
I think one of the important things about having discussions about why people might cut is that it helps others to see it as a form of coping -- and then it hopefully will help others respond in a loving, gentle manner in leading them to less harmful ways of dealing with the extreme pain they are in.
And as I have said before here and elsewhere, just telling a person not to do something because it is harmful, wrong, stupid, etc. -- that does not work. Sometimes even offering them another option still does not do the trick. I'm making the choice tonight to take this "easy" road -- I'm in great pain, I don't want to be doped up on alcohol or a benzo (the xanax I could snitch from dog or the klonopin my doctor has offered) because I have a huge project for work I must finished -- but I need a break from what I am going through. And I have no better immediate solution than cutting. It works for me -- or I would not do it, nor would others.
I know it seems odd that inflicting wounds on one's body would offer a respite from emotional pain. Even all the reading I have done, it still amazes me that I make this choice. And while you might not understand the choice or agree with it, I hope you can learn some gentleness to offer those who make the choice.
akc
poster:akc
thread:14653
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14986.html