Posted by Anna Laura on November 14, 2001, at 2:22:11
Hope you guys won't find this mail difficult to understand cause i really need a feedback on this.
I've been feeling better lately (finger crossing) i guess because i eventually removed a major stress that has been influencing my life in the past years. Last but not least i added one more tablet of reboxetine to effexor (300 mg).
The problem is the following: i'm feeling better even though i'm still depressed and i probably have to come a long way before i feel completelly cured; still the result it's satisfactory enough for me to start new activties and get more socially involved. I've got a problem though: even if i'm less anhedonic then i was before, i get this strange feeling of emotions coming on the surface not as much intensely as they did before: it's like they're kind of "slipping away" as long as they show up. Actually the're kind of "blurred" and dim.
May be i'm content but my face shows no evident emotions, it's like i lost the capacity of feeling deep emotions.
Is this because i'm still depressed or is it because i'm not used to feel emotions anymore since i've been anhedonic for a long time?Do i need a kind of "training" in order to feel emotions again?
Or is it because my life had been emptied out because of depression (no friends, no social life, i lost my ideals) so that there is no evident reason to be happy for since there is nothing special or involving going on in my life at the time?
Is it a negative thinking pattern influencing my emotional status?
I'd like to know what you guys think since most of you are in my shoes (or have been).