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Re: Cutting... is NOT rare. » Dinah

Posted by wendy b. on November 14, 2001, at 0:32:48

In reply to Re: Cutting... is NOT rare., posted by Dinah on November 10, 2001, at 10:34:19

> > I agree, and remember, I'm looking at it as someone who does not cut, so my view is skewed...
> >
> > Wendy
> >
> >
> I can see from what akc wrote that I did miss some important parts of the portrayal.


Although I admit, it doesn't quite do the subject justice. Maybe we will see the cutter character again. The nuanced episodes of ER during its earlier years might have portrayed cutting better. This show portrayed the cutting woman by using the usual media stereotypes. The story was that the patient was going to medical school at the same time as law school, and her parents would only pay for law school; she had to put herself through medical school because it was her true passion. or vice-versa. Anyway, they showed her as Insane with a capital I: 'This woman is out-of-control,' the usual haldol injection, the painfully wailing patient.

I think the difficulty is in identification: do we identify more with the Dr Carter character? or with the patient who just has to wait for a psych consult? It's clear she will be helped the best way the hospital can, and with some compassion (after all, it's ER!) And cute doctors! who are single!


> I smiled when you wrote that your view is skewed. I'm aware that it's my view that is considered to be a bit unusual.


You know what I mean: if I had to go through being committed at a hospital, I don't know how I would handle it. I am sure it is life-changing. I have a friend in Group therapy who is 21 yrs old, she has been hospitalized 25 times, mostly for bad cuttting. We went running last week, I saw the skin on her arms, both her upper arms and lower arms had wide and long scars, she said she will have plastic surgery for them some day, if she can. It looks scary to me, I can't comprehend how this beautiful girl (I'm 41, sorry) could have done this to herself.


> Mind you I am the most careful cutter in the world. I use cuticle scissors, which would be incapable of cutting very deep. I always use alchohol to clean the skin and scissors first. I always use antibiotic ointment after to reduce scars. So I guess I tend to underplay the problem a bit too much because I feel like it's under control.


Yes, sounds like you deal with it in a 'clinical' way, slightly obsessive. Do you work in a medical environment? I think you're right: it's all about control. If you can control your environment, that's rare. Most of the time our environments control US. Do you feel that the 'clinical' setting and the particular way you do the cutting, helps you, because you are in control of *at least* that? Sorry if I'm paraphrasing poorly -


>Right now I'm not cutting much at all, largely due to my positive attachment to my therapist. He doesn't make me sign contracts or anything, but I know he would rather that I not do it

Is that a usual practice for therapists to use 'contracts'? It seems pretty patronizing, doesn't it? I'm glad you don't have to do that. Truely, the middle schools where I teach use that technique with children. There has to be a better way to get the cutter to stop.


>Maybe one day I'll quit doing it for myself, but it really doesn't seem that important. One step at a time.

Dinah, you seem very wonderful and strong, you will get better over time, I'm sure. Thank you for talking to me about how you feel. I know from personal experience, it's really hard to talk about some very wounded parts of ourselves. It's good that you have established a bond with the therapist.

Goodbye for now - hope you stay well. Keep updating...


Wendy


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poster:wendy b. thread:13645
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