Posted by Moulin Rouge on November 3, 2001, at 20:22:42
In reply to no trust, boredom, posted by sar on November 3, 2001, at 15:50:54
I know that this is of no help to you, but be happy: at least people will have sex with you. It has been years for me, and I fully (and realistically) expect to never have sex with another human being again. I am repulsive.> what a horrible girlfriend i am. my boy couldn't pick me up this weekend (long distance relationship, and i have no car) (i've been speending weekends at his place) and i didn't really mind at first, i'd rather miss him and have a really incredible next-weekend.
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> then i started drinking in the late afternoon, drinking and walking same old thing, drinking cheap beer and walking up to the bookstore...too much free time on my hands, and not enough friends to keep me amused. i am unable to sit still, unable to just sit at home and read and work on projects.
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> well. on the way home my neighbor saw me and gave me a ride home. it is like melrose place over there, or the real world..."this is the story of five hot medical students living under one roof..." all boys BOYZ BOYZ BOYZ, 25 yrs old, what a wonderful age for a man-boy to be...so they feed me some liquor and then where am i? in bed with one of them, i just *had* to go and sleep with one a them cuties...
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> (dreamer, wish you could have been there... :)
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> do you ever feel like your life is boring so you should just do stupid impulsive things to keep it interesting? does the thought of your long-distance boyfriend flirting with other girls at parties inspire you to go out and screw someone else? is alcohol the root of all of this evil? is neurontin a sugarpill? can i be the PSB postergirl for SLUTZ?
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> i think the problem is that i don't have enough regular friends. i have friends who call me up on the phone and that i see every now and again, social with co-workers when i work, but i don't have regular friends that i see everyday. do i want that? i want it when i want it. i like being alone, being left to my own devices, and people often tire me out...
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> i didn't want to go home. i fell asleep on their couch as we were watching a movie, and Hot Med Student #1 said, why don't you crawl into bed? stood at his door grinning and motioning to the bed. and it's so much better to sleep in a feather bed with feather pillows and nice soft bajillion-thread count sheets with another body rather than alone in your own old bed with cheap sheets and no one there, alone in the dark.
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> maybe i should get a teddy bear. a mannequin?
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> and today i feel guilty and a little trashy, not trashy in the sense that i did that but in the sense that i'd never even been to their house before and i just waltzed in there and laid of of 'em--afraid that i look trashy in their eyes, i suppose. i get all lonesome and confused, then i get drunk and don't care.
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> i wish i could be one of those really quiet chill drunks who knows when to go home.
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> ugh. i don't expect any responses to this, i just needed to write it down.
poster:Moulin Rouge
thread:13403
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011025/msgs/13416.html