Posted by sar on October 23, 2001, at 10:28:13
In reply to How do u explain to a date u r on heavy psych meds, posted by jay on October 23, 2001, at 6:04:06
dear jay,
i wouldn't tell anyone all of that information right away...we're all supposed to reveal our idiosyncracies at a slow pace, lest we scare people away...
i read an article, i can't remember where, that had something to do with people with similar body/brain chemistries being able to sniff each other out...so generally, a lot of "crazy" people end up with other crazies (i use this term affectionately: i just swallowed my own rainbow coalition, i live with my parents, *and* i am unemployed, woohoo!)
my current boyfriend, before we started dating, heard through the grapevine that i was "crazy" even "psycho" perhaps, that i'm on meds, that i'd tried to kill myself--and i told him myself, when he said "how was your summer?" that i'd spent part of it in psych wards.
we're in that nice begininning stage of a relationship, butterflies in the stomach and restaurants and wine, kisses and weekend visits (long-distance relationship)...one time in the car he was talking about his roommate and one of his good friends, both diagnosed "clinically depressed" and he said, "i don't know man, i just don't know if i believe in all that, i think 'depressed' people should just um...go to the lake more, or something."
You can imagine that this got my dander up and such, and i tried to dispassionately explain that depression is a real, certifiable illness, that the chemistry of the brain is changed by it or maybe that person's brain chemistry was never right in the first place--and i think he heard the pleading in my voice, as much as i tried to hide it, the pleading for him to understand that all of this horrible shit is REAL...
in the mornings, he sees me swallow the rainbow coalition: blue-and-white, pink, and yellow. pretty, eh? and at night, if we're drinking, if my eyes start to look droopy, he'll say "babe, did you take those pills?" because he knows alcohol potentiates them.
he thinks i'm crazy, but he also thinks most other people are normal and boring.
i feel lucky that i've had to explain so little to him, that he knew how nuts i am in the first place.
i think all you can do is be unashamed:
I work as a janitor.
I live with my parents right now.
and when the time is right, maybe after some intimate talks/nights (at least a month down the road?) you can explain to her that you've been diagnosed as ____ and that you take these pills to treat it.
i think we're lucky to be living in a time when more and more people are aware of mental illness, accpeting of having it or dealing with others who have it. i mean, there are commercials for AD's...
i wouldn't even try to sell alot of charm...you seem charming just as you are, "just be yourself," ah, that old annoying adage--but it's true...
love,
sar
poster:sar
thread:12882
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011015/msgs/12887.html