Posted by Wendy B. on September 4, 2001, at 23:35:08
In reply to Re: I need to feel needed, too » Krazy Kat , posted by susan C on September 4, 2001, at 20:16:18
> > I hoped the Keppra starts to help. Why did you need to add it? Had the Depakote helped at somepoint, and then "pooped out", or was it not ever quite right?
>
> Depakote helped but it wasn't didn't compare to prozac...Why did I add Keppra? hub was kind of surprised when I brought it up at the appointment, I dont know why I did, desperation? I have been thinking about this a lot today, as my appointment is with pdoc on the 10th and Saturday I up the Keppra dose to max. Why did I start it, why didn't I just stay the course, as Janelle has said, Do Nothing....It had been eight months on depakote and in the middle of july I expereinced a terrible day, that is why I called doc for early appt, other days too, so maybe it was working better than I thought, think...?
Susan,The 10th is Monday, it's not so long till then, you will sort it out with the pdoc.... Just stay on what you're on right now. Did you have a scrip for Keppra, and just go fill it? I am so sorry, Susan, but I have forgotten your meds history/situation, can you repeat it? I know you are into some alternative methods and hormone therapy...
> I started to think today, why do ANYTHING if I am still going to feel this way. If I know that when I get depressed, when I get manicy it will pass, why bother my body...why do anything to it? Why not suffer the fool, endure the hotflash (another, try til it works medication tail chasing exercise)? If I am going to just be home, alone, not care, why bother with keeping track of all these meds and wondering and charting, why bother? Sure, I think about ending it all, but I don't. I haven't tried.
>
> a cornered mouse
>
> Susan c.Oh, Susan, (*moan*! I feel so bad for you), please don't feel cornered... I send many many good vibes your way... (((((and a hug)))))))) I want the meds situation to work out for you. You know, of course, that the mania is speaking when you say: why bother with the meds. Most bipolars want to shove their meds at certain points in their therapy. I have wanted to. But please don't think about ending it all, we care very much about you, your husband is right there for you...
The reason to *stay on the meds* is to get your brain to handle the mania better, to smooth it out, to stop the circuits from firing off in the same ways as they used to... Are you in talk-therapy? (Again, I forgot...so sorry, neurontin-brain, fuzz head, I don't remember things any more). I still think the meds and therapy combo is the best way to go.
Even though you are at home, and you think it doesn't matter if you go off the meds, and that you'll just deal with the mood swings quietly in your own space, it won't be like that. You've said yourself that you'd rather be a little numbed than back in the manic phase... Krazy Kat confirmed this... that's how she feels too. The Depakote may be too weird for you, you could try prozac with neurontin, or wellbutrin with neurontin or another anti-convulsant, or have you tried them before? If you're having a bad day like the one you had in July, why not get a short-acting med like a benzodiazepine (Xanax, Valium) to soften the anxiety? Sounds like worrying about feeling badly is an 'anxiety' type situation... or how does it feel to you? Please write back...
With love and hope (even),
Wendy
poster:Wendy B.
thread:10709
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010901/msgs/10815.html