Posted by susan C on September 4, 2001, at 20:16:18
In reply to Re: I need to feel needed, too...--Susan, posted by Krazy Kat on September 4, 2001, at 19:08:45
> What other things do you have to offer? :) See, now I'm getting all embarrassed...
I will draw your portrait, send me a photo, even if it isn't of you, I will get your likeness...
(bold, bravado claim)
>
> I sure wish it would straighten itself out - I'm tired of arguing about it.One time early on, I was so depressed, I said, I am going to go have an icecream sundae, I walked in, it was like a 3pm in the middle of the week, nobodyy there and the counter person took one look at me and said, 'it cant be that bad...'
>
> I'd like to hit those neighbors on the head with a shovel! O.K., well, at least a litter box! Same old, same old - so many unwanted kitties. You were so kind to take two in.This is why they (the cats, not the neighbors)stay outside, no litterbox, tho I am going to have to net the gardens, it gets REALLLY SINKY out there....
>
> Yeah, I'm O.K. being a little flattened right now, needing to gather my thoughts. I get kind of "off on tangents" in my mind and look dazed, I think.
>
> I hoped the Keppra starts to help. Why did you need to add it? Had the Depakote helped at somepoint, and then "pooped out", or was it not ever quite right?Depakote helped but it wasn't didn't compare to prozac...Why did I add Keppra? hub was kind of surprised when I brought it up at the appointment, I dont know why I did, desperation? I have been thinking about this a lot today, as my appointment is with pdoc on the 10th and Saturday I up the Keppra dose to max. Why did I start it, why didn't I just stay the course, as Janelle has said, Do Nothing....It had been eight months on depakote and in the middle of july I expereinced a terrible day, that is why I called doc for early appt, other days too, so maybe it was working better than I thought, think...?
I started to think today, why do ANYTHING if I am still going to feel this way. If I know that when I get depressed, when I get manicy it will pass, why bother my body...why do anything to it? Why not suffer the fool, endure the hotflash (another, try til it works medication tail chasing exercise)? If I am going to just be home, alone, not care, why bother with keeping track of all these meds and wondering and charting, why bother? Sure, I think about ending it all, but I don't. I haven't tried.
a cornered mouse
Susan c.
poster:susan C
thread:10709
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010901/msgs/10801.html