Posted by mila on August 15, 2001, at 6:43:28
In reply to Re: memories » mila, posted by AKC on August 14, 2001, at 21:05:39
good morning AKC :)
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> Sorry I had such an extreme reaction. I just carry such baggage from my past, as I am certain many of us do.hmm, interesting image. I see a small lady-child with many black bulging bags trying to pull them away from her father's house. The progress is laborious and slow, she almost crawls. This tells me that you have not been able to own the pain yet, or leave it behind (gee, I sound lame). Is it so? I am only saying that because you used the word baggage: something that we believe could be useful to us in our journey, yet counterproductive AS we journey. What is your solution for this image?
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> I'm really upset with this latest spell. I'm angry and scared and sad. As I posted on another thread, while I may be coping "better" with these episodes, it doesn't change how painful they are. And I am just weary to my bones. So that adds to my overreactions to the slightest thing. When I voice it outloud, I can usually see that I am blowing something a little out of proportion.I am terribly sorry to hear this. Has your team been able to discern some pattern in just when these spells tend to occur? or at least what is the straw that tends to break the camel's back?
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> I am usually pretty good about not using the "life's unfair" type phrase. That is too much a victim role, and I've worked hard at not being a victim. I suffered as a victim when I was a child. I'm not going to suffer as a victim now.I have found the victim stuff be loaded with insight in my own life. What was sacrificed in your story? What was erradicated? In my life as a child I was severely punished for being a girl, for not being a family person, for not knowing everything about people's feelings and expectations and rules of the social game. the later cruelties that happened were mostly variations of the same topics. That was terribly unfair. I grew up emotionally and socially illiterate because of these circumstances. What were you punished for?
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> What are you studying? I have three degrees, so I do remember the stress that brings.I am studying psychology. When I started, it was because I wanted to learn why I was depressed and what are the solutions. Now I keep studying because I want to know why I got cured, which is a mystery to me. I have a good idea why, but I might be very wrong. I also have several degrees, so I know that layman's opinion is rarely correct :)
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> I liked your memory. I don't have many childhood memories, especially from when I was very young. I am glad that you are able to remember the good times.I felt a bit cumbersome when I posted it. First I tried the 'deathbed' approach, and as you said it was not working. I do not know which memories I will cherish by the time I die from old age. Then I switched into 'if I died this very moment' frame, and the good stuff relevant to my present state of mind popped out right away. You have never shared any memories yourself. how about 'practice what you preach' now? please. if you were to pass away this very moment what memory would it be?
best,
mila
poster:mila
thread:9535
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010812/msgs/9623.html