Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 9, 2001, at 21:35:13
In reply to Re: Glenn Roo - breaking up » Roo, posted by Wendy B. on August 8, 2001, at 13:14:29
> > Glenn--
> >
> > It hasn't even been 2 weeks since my boyfriend
> > and I broke up. Ugh. It just hurts. I was the
> > one to end it, and it still hurts like hell.
> > >
>
>
> Hi guys,
>
> I am into month 8 (count 'em, eight) of breakup-land... I wish I could be more encouraging about the time it takes to heal & feel better, it's just so hard. I do understand where you two are...
>
> I am still pretty much grieving, like losing a family member. Roo, it was the same with us, we talked and shared so much: life, work, music. My child loved him. He left us because he didn't think he could really love anyone, so he said. He said he didn't think this relationship was "the one." Then started up with a girl about 15 yrs. younger than us about 3 weeks after he left.
>
> I cannot get over some of the anger I still hold inside. In one fell swoop, he took away my lover and my best friend. It was gut-wrenching... Now I just feel that if he was willing to drop me, someone who has love, can give love, is smart, kind, beautiful, has a sweet daughter, cooks, whatever, then it's HIS problem, right? Still, I feel inadequate (sp?) and like it was my fault, even though I know, intellectually, it wasn't. It was his own unwillingness, inability, to be the person that I needed. So it's all for the best, I know.
>
> We weren't the perfect couple, both of us suffer from bipolar illness, we're on meds and therapy. Each of us has a problem with anger and impulsiveness. We both lost parents: he lost his mother due to an accident at age 8, I never knew my deadbeat father. My shrink said: so that would mean you could have had compassion and understanding for each other... But it didn't work out that way. And I still grieve every day.
>
> The shrink says my relationship "issues" all have to do with never knowing my dad. So I'm in the middle of the process of searching him out. Found out, only last week, from one of his brothers, where he lives and got an address. Now I'm trying to write the hardest letter I've ever written. "Dear Father, You don't know me, but I'm your fourth child, Wendy..."
> Weirdsville, USA.
>
> Anyway, I wish you both peace, and to anyone else who's going through a recent (in the last 25 yrs.or so!) breakup...
>
> :-] keep on truckin',
>
> Wendy
Dear Wendy,I remember how bruised my ego was right after
my breakup; I felt so inadequate. "How could
she leave me?", I would ask myself. My heart
still feels like it has a hole in it, at times.
Right after the break-up, it literally hurt me
to breathe. I can understand your anger; I
would have been extremely angry if my ex-
girlfriend had started dating someone else
3 weeks after our breakup. Try to be as
kind as possible to yourself;you deserve it.Hang in there,
Glenn
poster:Glenn Fagelson
thread:8755
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010807/msgs/9091.html