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Re: Should I be mad at my therapist? » Rzip

Posted by Doo on May 11, 2001, at 13:57:21

In reply to Re: Should I be mad at my therapist? » Doo, posted by Rzip on May 11, 2001, at 13:12:49

Hi Rzip,

> What do you mean by "verify"? What should I do? Talk to him or do research in some psychological textbook on whether or not this is normal therapist behavior?

LOL I mean verify with him. Go and see how he feels about all this. Only then will you have sufficient info about how to position yourself.

I think it is important also that you aknowledge your feelings as they are. And the guilt... Oh the guilt! I know so much what you're talking about! I have no answer for the guilt, since I struggle with it everyday. Sometimes I feel so frustrated about something that appears to be 'childish', and I hide my feelings because I don't want to be ridiculized, judged. Then I become harmful for myself (not so much physically, although I have impulses - not the acting- to bang my head on the wall, or to hit my face with my own fists). So about guilt, I know.

> I feel very distracted by all this. And I feel disappointed in myself that I am distracted by all this. I thought I was stronger, but I guess there is a great deal of force and intensity in the therapy process. Hmm...

Your sayings reminds me that I miss the feeling of "being in therapy". It's been one year since I quit my last therapy, which was with a humanist-oriented therapist, not a psychologist. I'm now beginning another therapy, I'm only at my third meeting now, I don't really get the therapy's orientation yet. Nevertheless, I've read a bit about it and I think it's good for the kind of problems I have.

>Emotionally, I am really tormented by all this. Probably because I realize that my therapist is human afterall :-( I know that I tend to put therapist of all degrees very high up on a pedestal. But that is the only way I can feel safe enough to disclose myself.

I feel some strong force driving me to idealize my psychologist. I guess it's part of the therapy to start from there and to relate more and more with the human being in front of us. The psychodynamic psychologists tend to be more impersonal, and I find it a little complicated to know whether she is hiding behind the theories or if she does master what she understands of all this, and uses it for my own benefits. It's a question that comes back to my mind, and it is linked to another big question: "Does altruism, gratuity (I'm not sure this word exists in english), exist?".

>I don't know what to think anymore. All I know is that I feel very bad about all this.

I would like to have something to say about this...

Well, I appreciate having this exchange with you.

Doo


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