Posted by Adam on April 7, 2001, at 15:54:15
In reply to How come it seems that bullies get away w/things?, posted by Dubya on April 6, 2001, at 19:58:41
I think bullies do exist. Some grow out of it when entering adulthood, some don't.
It's difficult to resist the attacks of bullies. If you're not a bully, the behavior of a bully towards you is almost incomprehensible. That may be true even if you ARE a bully.
Some people are just plain stronger/smarter/prettier/whatever than others, or they are convinced they are so, and thus are also able to convince others. They may have status, due to innate qualities or social standing, that gives them power over others. If they use their gifts to hurt other people, they can bully very effectively.
Really terrible bullies may be sociopaths. I read an interesting article in SciAm in which the author hypothesizes that those with violently sociopathic qualities are often not suffering from poor self-esteem. On the contrary, they have pathologically high self-esteem, and feel perfectly entitled to do the terrible things they do to others. Combine a sociopath with someone suffering from depression and terrible feelings of inadequacy, and you've got a uniquely horrid recipe for pain.
I think the best you can do is avoid such people. You probably can't change them or get them to play fair with you. If people you deal with hurt you for their own gratification, leave them. You are not the sick one. They are.
> I am really sick of bullies, maybe I let them take over my life or maybe, but they seem to make a clean get away w/ their attitude/behaviour. Of course, that is my distorted perception.
poster:Adam
thread:5366
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010404/msgs/5551.html