Posted by mars on February 13, 2001, at 0:21:51
In reply to Re: to affect the quality of the day.... , posted by quilter on February 12, 2001, at 23:38:43
Dear Quilter ~
You might want to count as consolation that you have gained a bit o' wisdom from your struggles ~ at least that's the way your post reads to me, and your words help a great deal. Thank you. I wish I could do the same for you.
I had always been promised, explicitly and implicitly, that there would be a chemical/therapeutic solution to my most severe issues, so to learn about the fetal alcohol effects was very, very painful, especially since about the only thing I've ever had going for me was my "brain".
All of my life I've wanted to fit in somewhere. And sometimes I have...sort of. Around the edges, on the fringes. Finding PB got my severely moribund hopes up, and probably in a way that wasn't realistic ~ partly because I admire those who have made PB what it is, and perhaps from watching the plug fit so neatly into Dr. Bob's head? (lol)
One of the nice things about edges & fringes is that there's a lot of space for circulation. I've had some amazing experiences that I probably wouldn't have had otherwise. I was a total freak in high school, but I had these great parties - they were great because I invited all these people from different groups who never would have talked to each other, and with some good music (and, admittedly, a few beers) they all found out that everybody was okay. Everybody on PB is on my invite list now =;)
I do think, however, that you and I (and all our comrades) should get a reprieve from our damnable physical issues. Who do we send the petition to? I have a good friend with fibromyalgia, so I've learned a lot about it, and I just found out a dear friend has trigeminal neuralgia. What have you tried so far?
I send gentle pats, and a big smile.
luff,
mars
> Dear Mars, I'm feeling better today again, but quite stressed out about deadlines (guess I shouldn't take that term so literally!) and physical health issues.
>
> It is very hard to deal with the fact that for whatever reason, you will never be the person you hoped you could become. Eventually we seem to be able to map out a new road to follow, but the process is incredibly painful.
>
> I often feel rejected or ignored when posts do not recieve responses. I wonder whether it is the nature of the illness? The little facial cues like nods or smiles that acknowledge a message being missing on the net? For me, it is hard work to keep brain and body in sync. long enough to type a cogent message and often limits how and who I reply to. All of the names on this thread are ones I look for, and think of as friends. There are others as well (Medlib, I hope you are OK) who can be counted on to make sense when they find time and energy to be here. It would be interesting to find out how common this feeling is.
>
> I really really wish that I could depend on my body and brain acting in some predictable fashion. Seems like neither is these days and finding another recurrent, miserable, chronic, high maintenance problem has been almost too much to bear. Latest was a return of the trigeminal neuralgia I had hoped was a one time fluke this past summer. Fibromyalgia, migraines, and disc problems are also part of my life. I'm so tired of constant pain and the everlasting exhaustion...
>
> Aren't you glad I feel so much better? :~p
>
> Quilter
poster:mars
thread:4543
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010209/msgs/4594.html