Posted by quilter on February 12, 2001, at 23:38:43
In reply to to affect the quality of the day.... » quilter, posted by mars on February 12, 2001, at 8:03:47
Dear Mars, I'm feeling better today again, but quite stressed out about deadlines (guess I shouldn't take that term so literally!) and physical health issues.
It is very hard to deal with the fact that for whatever reason, you will never be the person you hoped you could become. Eventually we seem to be able to map out a new road to follow, but the process is incredibly painful.
I often feel rejected or ignored when posts do not recieve responses. I wonder whether it is the nature of the illness? The little facial cues like nods or smiles that acknowledge a message being missing on the net? For me, it is hard work to keep brain and body in sync. long enough to type a cogent message and often limits how and who I reply to. All of the names on this thread are ones I look for, and think of as friends. There are others as well (Medlib, I hope you are OK) who can be counted on to make sense when they find time and energy to be here. It would be interesting to find out how common this feeling is.
I really really wish that I could depend on my body and brain acting in some predictable fashion. Seems like neither is these days and finding another recurrent, miserable, chronic, high maintenance problem has been almost too much to bear. Latest was a return of the trigeminal neuralgia I had hoped was a one time fluke this past summer. Fibromyalgia, migraines, and disc problems are also part of my life. I'm so tired of constant pain and the everlasting exhaustion...
Aren't you glad I feel so much better? :~p