Posted by roo on January 23, 2001, at 11:46:09
In reply to Re: My Greatest Fear, posted by tina on January 20, 2001, at 19:33:36
I'm scared I"m always going to have to live with
this disease. I'm scared of the way it affects
my behavior and my tendency to internalize everything
and take things very personally. I'm scared I'll
never be able to have a "real" job, because my
emotional state never seems stable enough. I'm
scared it's never going to go away. I'm scared I'm
so unhappy with myself, that i'll never be able to
find love with another person. I'm scared that maybe
this isn't really a physical disease, maybe i'm
just a self absorbed, navel gazing negative person.I get really scared sometimes. And I feel like
a bad person on top of it. My biggest lesson is
how to treat myself with compassion when I'm in
pain. If I could do that, it wouldn't be as bad,
it seems. Sometimes I get tired of the struggle.
I have my inspired, energized, positive days, but
when I'm going through the dark times, none of that
seems to matter.I'm rambling. Your post moved me too, Scott.
You are dealing with a very heavy load. I am
so sorry and hope that the meds continue to work
well for you. I'll say a prayer for you.Ruth
poster:roo
thread:3948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010105/msgs/4142.html