Posted by Snowie on October 15, 2000, at 20:21:56
In reply to Support to what end? Caroline's post revisited., posted by shar on October 15, 2000, at 12:05:57
Shar,
I agree with you, and I agreed with Caroline's original post. I didn't find Caroline's post insensitive, but she didn't miss any punches. However, wasn't that what Pritzker requested? Allow me to refresh my memory:
"So, my proposal to the readers of this network is to give me feedback (any and all feedback). I desperately need responses from real people."
"Please! Write something/anything under my thread. Please."
"It is so exciting that I have all these Follow-ups under my topic now. It is a very warm feeling to receive all these replies."
"Please keep talking to me. I just love it that people are actually responding to my thoughts. Thoughts that I had thought were so disturbing to the community-at-large that until now, I have kept in the recess of my soul."
"Please give me more feedbacks. I only have four different people writing to me thus far. More please. My dream is to have as long a list of feedbacks as Dr.Bob's postings."
A couple of Pritzker's posts have been deleted. Maybe they were multiple posts ... I guess only Dr. Bob knows the answer to that.
In response to Shar, Mark, and Noa's natural curiosity and the questions that flowed therefrom, Pritzker completely avoided all of their questions, and soon thereafter seemed to lose interest. Hence, the post on a separate thread:
"At this moment, I am fallen behind in my studies. So, I'll need to "buckle down" a bit till the weekend. I'll write something extensive and honest about myself then. I am still a bit hesitant about the security of this service. I am considering setting up an appointment with Dr.T next week or so."
I personally found Pritzker's posts disturbing. We can all relate to fantasy ... I fantasized about a mailman at a previous job for way too long (two years), but it never went beyond mutual flirtation and my imagination, and disappeared when he eventually married. Pritzker's fantasy appears to have spilled over into real life, even to the point where s/he is stalking the people s/he fantasizes about. I personally felt as if we were a part of some experiment or game; and although I was intrigued, I wasn't about to encourage Pritzker further. Maybe Caroline's post wasn't what Pritzker wanted to hear, but s/he did ask for honest feedback. Hopefully, Pritzker was paying attention. In hindsight, even though my mailman fantasy never reached the level of obsession that Pritzker's appears to have reached, I wish someone had been as honest with me as Caroline was with Pritzker. It may have been a bitter pill to swallow, but necessary medicine nonetheless.
Finally, I must confess that I also wondered if Dr. H. was Dr. Bob. If that is the case, then I hope Pritzker's therapist has read the posts and will act accordingly. If that is not the case, then I hope Pritzker will feel free to clear up that misunderstanding. I think the reason we are having a difficult time letting this go is because no one really knows who Pritzker is, nor the true motivation behind his or her posts. I doubt we'll ever know.
Snowie
> NB: I don't want to tear Caroline's post apart again. I am wondering where "support" begins and ends.
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> This is based on the response post that Caroline wrote above. I went back and read what Caroline wrote after having read what Pritzker wrote, and I still tend to agree with Caroline.
>
> I guess my question is: when someone is obviously distressed, fends off all recommendations, lives in a way that does not seem reality-based (IMHO), and keeps on responding to posts with more of the same, ..... what to do?
>
> Support that person unconditionally down that road? There had been many previous supportive responses to Pritzker's initial post(s). When I read P's responses and they continued to get (IMHO) less oriented toward wanting to understand or help herself, and more into the fantasy world, I was very concerned that this person was in need of real help and wasn't understanding that there was a problem. I thought this might be a case where P was about to have a breakdown or was about ready to go off in a more regrettable fashion, and needed to be addressed.
>
> In light of all that, I appreciated the straightforward and genuine way Caroline's post said "Get help" in essence. I did not know how to write a good response, I fear mine would have been much plainer than Caroline's and not so full of qualifications such as "I may be wrong" or the other things Caroline did to soften her statements. (I have to admit I still have those concerns about P and hope she came to realize she needed help pretty quickly.)
>
> So, hypothetically, how do people think it's best to handle a situation where someone is not presenting with clear symptoms (ie, suicidal ideation), but seems to need help pretty quick, but doesn't seem to have any idea of that?
>
> Shar
poster:Snowie
thread:1083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1098.html