Posted by garnet71 on February 13, 2009, at 0:15:21
In reply to Husband's SHAMEFUL Interests - Please Help!, posted by Emmie on December 6, 2008, at 13:36:27
I hope you are still checking in here. Emmie, it has nothing to do with you - or sex. Your husband seems to be - I am 99% sure - a sex addict. It's not about sex; it's an addiction to be treated like a drug, gambling, or alchohol addiction. I repeat-it has nothign to do with sex!!
I've been though it, I know how hard it is. Trust me though-it's not about you..I had sex with my X each and every day we were together-at least once per day--and average 3 x per day. Sometimes 5 or 6...I always made a point to be sexy, playful, and adventurous in the bedroom; it didn't matter--I found out later that even right before/after us, he would be mb on internet.
It's a high-it's conditioned--they build up tolerance. He probably started with 'regular porn', then built a tolerance, needing more and more extreme to 'get high'. Just like any drug...like another said, this is how they lead up to crime...they need more and more to get that high...the tolerance..Please understand this.
Dr. Patrick Carnes' book - Internet Sex Addiction, is by far the best resource I've come across.
Unfortunately, sex addiction is the toughest to treat and recover from. You can stay away from gambling places, bars, and drug friends - but you can't 'erase' your sexuality. Sorry, just can't put it lightly. You have a rough road ahead of you. It makes no sense to sugar coat the situation, or say your husband just 'isn't getting his desires fulfilled' - that is bs.
Please write back and let us know you are ok.