Psycho-Babble Relationships | about interpersonal relationships | Framed
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I think I've ruined any chances

Posted by ClearSkies on July 30, 2007, at 8:01:35

In reply to Re: Quite a tangent from my thread above » antigua3, posted by ClearSkies on July 27, 2007, at 12:28:42

Any chances of getting the step daughter willingly into any help. Yesterday evening we met the young couple at a coffee shop, to clear the air. I found the young man to be evasive, unforthcoming, duplicitous, and really uncharming. What was worse was that I called him on it, and told him that I had his number. SD was visibly miserable the entire time (you want to marry this person because you're so happy to be with him?? I'm thinking?), then she started to cry. Then I started to cry. Then I told the guy that he hadn't come clean with us at all - all we know is bad news we've heard 2nd hand, etc. And he stalked out.
And then called us on her cell phone, that they are sharing (how do they call each other?? though the whole idea is that he does not let her out of his sight), to say that DH and I are uninvited to their wedding. DH was so angry with me for not playing along with the guy's story. What was the point - to dupe them into trusting us? A relationship based on even more lies? I can't do that.

It was just awful. I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I couldn't sit there and listen to him spin his tale of lies and non-truths, and I made the utterly stupid mistake of telling him that I could see through his facade. I think I have managed to push SD away for good.

I'm so stupid. I thought I was protecting her. I'm no good at playing games, I'm not able to pretend that everything is OK when it very clearly is not.


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poster:ClearSkies thread:772136
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/772836.html