Posted by Partlycloudy on July 24, 2014, at 15:07:47
In reply to Re: Not thinking right, posted by Poet on July 24, 2014, at 13:32:02
> Hi PC,
>
> When you can't sleep it's hard to think right- my thoughts turn more negative than usual and I can't stop that inner voice of self loathing. My worst was when Ambien stopped working and I called Dr. Clueless and left a voicemail after being awake for 36 hours. Hence, I now take seroquel to sleep. I hope the upped dose of Ambien CR allows your thoughts to stop creeping in and you get some much needed rest.
>
> I wish that rehab place had treated you better- really hard cyber slaps to everyone there.
>
> PoetI tried Seroquel, and it made me sleep - for 12 hours a night! Last night was my first full night of sleep, despit not feeling sleepy when I went to bed. I managed to avoid a prolonged nap in the mid afternoon, because I knew that didn't help. Nice little headache there.
Actually, a lot of headaches, but not all migraines. Note to self.
And for all the damage that rehab seems to have done to me, I discovered some truths about myself. That being around very ill, disturbed people in a close setting is extremely unkind to PC's psyche. That one size does not fit all, not only in psychiatry, but in addiction rehab as well. That there is not yet a medically sound treatment for addiction that doesn't involve ingesting illegal substances. I learned many things.
And at home, of course, nothing has changed, because I am the one who will have to change. Sobriety (again) was big. The assertiveness I once had, I have to reclaim. I took a little step today, tried to play it lightly, and it was OK apart from my nervousness.
I don't ever want to act from a position of weakness. I have so much to rebuild, to build up in the first place. I know that at one point when I was ready to move out, it was a sense of running away from, not running to. I don't want to run. I want to face this and act like an adult.
Those cyber slaps would get you banned from the weekend trip to the beach!
PC
poster:Partlycloudy
thread:1068500
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140702/msgs/1068751.html