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Re: sorry people

Posted by alexandra_k on October 29, 2013, at 1:42:33

In reply to Re: extra money, posted by alexandra_k on October 29, 2013, at 1:27:14

i do understand that a lot of people get something from the whole mirroring 'me too, just like you' thing.

something that i am coming to terms with is that with respect to my need for intimacy / personal space... i am not 'just like' most people, at all.

i do appreciate that people are trying to empathize with what is going on for me. but i feel a little like... well, perhaps people will understand this: like someone who is in the midst of a catatonic depression with someone else saying they understand exactly because sometimes they feel sad. i don't mean this to undermine other peoples serious and legitimate needs around negotiating boundaries differently or whatever... but i think that this is a very different issue indeed from the personal space issue that is going on for me.

i...

i feel very frustrated indeed because i really feel like most of the time people really don't hear me at all. they are too busy saying 'of course dear, i understand exactly dear' to even really listen to what it is that i have to say. i had another conversation today with the lady who runs the place which consisted in her saying that she didn't understand my problem with noise since it is mostly quiet all day.

i had to say that the situation is basically that they don't understand what is involved in writing a phd and about how it is much more than that.

but basically the issue is 'i just want a quiet place where i can solely focus on my thesis' simply doesn't sink into peoples brains. i don't know how to say it so they understand. i think it is because it springs from a feeling / desire (for solitude) that they don't understand. (sorry people but wanting a half hour or a whole day away from ones spouse isn't quite the same thing).

i can see that i... can't get the feeling behind the wedding thing... i'm not all like 'oh yeah, i totally understand this desire that people have to get married and be the center of attention and find and be with a life partner'. i can see that it is a sentiment that i really just don't get. why do other people think they get me when they so obviously do not?

what the f*ck am i missing?

 

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