Posted by alexandra_k on October 27, 2013, at 23:18:10
In reply to Re: extra money » alexandra_k, posted by Partlycloudy on October 27, 2013, at 8:04:14
maybe the idea is that you have different boundaries.
i mean... sometimes you do desire to be closer to him. you won't leave him, for example. you wanted him to walk with you during your trip. so you don't spend every minute of every day wishing that he would leave you alone. if you did feel that way you probably have options around leaving.
though at times you want more space from him, i hear that.
it is good if you can get a sense of space by leaving the house. sometimes i can... but othertimes... i can't. because there isn't anyplace outside the house where people leave me alone. people in this country simply won't let you be alone. you can put yourself in the middle of an empty sports field and in less than 15 minutes someone will race out and onto that field and start noisily prancing about. people are simply like that, here. they cannot leave a person who obviously wants to be by themself to be by themself.
some people have told me that there are things you do so people will leave you alone. most notably: pretending to be texting or talking to other people on your cellphone. that is the only socially acceptable reason for not wanting to spend time with people, you see. spending time with other people.
i can't wear noise cancelling headphones all the time. i'll get a migrane / headache. also: why the f*ck should i have to wear noise cancelling headphones? i want to hear the birds sing and hear the wind blow through the trees. i have the right to peacable enjoyment. i have the right to sleep and wake as i see fit and not have 'now you can study' 'now you can't' decisions being made by 17 year old flatmates who couldn't even manage to finish high school.
it is my stupidity, of course. people were 'do you really think you want to live there?' etc etc. and... i didn't see why not. i thought other people were being racist or whatever. elitist about the whole university thing. well... i can say i've given it more of a shot / gained a more intimate acquantance of the situation than most... and as a result... i've probably ended up even more racist and even more elitist than most. yay me. well done.
counting down the days.
but yeah, you are right... this income increase is wonderful. it means i can spend more time in cafe's and less time at home. i need to write to my advisor and arrange my extension... will take a lot of the rage out of the situation if i can tell myself that my work is allowed to proceed at a slower pace till my move... focus on this conference talk (hopefully can manouver that into being an oral defence proxy and get rid of the whole skype deal) rather than teh whole thesis...
i'll be okay. lets pick december 8 as moving date...
41 days.
god dammit. i need to move sooner.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1053012
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130930/msgs/1053198.html