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Re: Ideal Fit

Posted by pegasus on September 19, 2013, at 12:56:44

In reply to Ideal Fit, posted by Dinah on September 7, 2013, at 10:46:08

I have had Ts that I felt a lot of chemistry with, and Ts that I didn't. I'm not actually convinced that it's necessary, or even always desirable. With my latest T I did not feel all that much of a "click", but I think that made him feel safer. I started with him some time after losing a T with whom I felt a lot more chemistry and attachment. I think the logic was something like: If I lose this one, it won't be as bad, because there's not as much friendship within our therapy relationship.

Although, it's still a big loss, as it turns out. But, not as big, for sure.

I've also noticed that no matter what T I'm working with, I find important things wrong with the fit. I've never been in therapy and not wondered whether I should really find another T that would be better in some way. I suspect that there is no ideal for me. Maybe one of the things I need to work out in therapy is related to never feeling sufficiently attuned.

- peg




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