Posted by alexandra_k on August 18, 2013, at 2:28:00
In reply to Re: new p-doc, posted by alexandra_k on August 18, 2013, at 2:05:37
i think that was what was novel about aussie. my clinicians were native english speakers. i think it made a considerable difference.
i... have tried to trust people the way you speak of pc. and... it has worked out badly. because it has turned out that they misunderstood the situation. they misunderstood my need. whatever... their misunderstanding... has really messed things up one hell of a lot.
now... well... i know i have trust issues. if there is someone who is trustworthy then i still have issues trusting them. but generally speaking... not trusting... results in my being better off than i would be if i trusted. and that is the unfortunate truth.
why co-operate if there isn't anything in it for you?
the lady who runs this place would really like for me to trust her. she takes herself to be a counsellor, you see. she teaches cultural safety aspects of that at the tech, i mean uni, across the road. and she's been doing so for 20 years or something... since long before it even became a university...
and when i tell her that 'i just need a quiet place where i can do my thesis' she puts me in the noisy house because she thinks i'll have a connection to one of the girls who lives there because she used to live in aussie, too. then when i explained about the banging doors she moved me next door... and there wasn't any internet access next door. because she didn't realize that i needed internet access to email my supervisor work or to access library or ... that the internet is a work tool. and it is just... constant, really. which is why i can't trust her. because she does mean well. but she can't be trusted. because she doesn't understand.
the more people here try and show me they understand the more apparent it becomes that they don't understand... i... am not strong enough to devote myself to sorting out their misunderstandings right now. if it were my job i would do it. but it isn't my job and so i... resent it, yeah.
it isn't flattering that people get up when i get up and go to sleep when i go to sleep and leave the house when i leave the house. that they all want to buy the same variety of milk as me and keep it right next to all banged up against mine until (tee hee!) we can't even figure out who's is who's. that as soon as people hear me start the washing machine it is washing machine day and everyones washing is unceremoniously thrown around the washing room as people are in a hurry to get into the machine.
it is...
ugh.
back off people.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1048672
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130807/msgs/1049260.html