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Re: How many things anger you? sleepygirl2

Posted by Beckett on January 21, 2012, at 23:58:02

In reply to How many things anger you?, posted by sleepygirl2 on January 21, 2012, at 20:24:27

>>So, everytime I tell my Pdoc I'm anxious, he asks me what I'm angry about. Ironically, this pisses me off!

Is the assumption that all anxiety = anger one that you believe as well?

I have been thinking a bit about anger myself. I found the thread title very triggering ;-) so went and thought some more and wanted to give you a fuller answer.

Would a more useful question be about the conditions around how you feel angry rather than the what's of anger? Lately I am trying out this idea of anger being as natural as joy, another emotion I have a difficult time with, though joy does not send me into a panic whereas intense anger can. Why is anger something to be watched, minded, etc.? Yes, I understand because it can be damaging and hurtful. I understand because where I am from it ended in humiliation
or physical pain. And I vowed never to be like that. That was how I became a doormat. I was/am afraid of anger--others' anger and my own very much so that it really can send me into a real panic.

But what if I replaced vigilance reserved for anger with a less guarded stance? Like I knew my anger was a picadillo common to all? That would be such a relief. My anger blows over so much more quickly lately. Sometimes I still
panic. My new therapist talks with me (not at me, nor coaches me) when I am angry or distraught and then, afterwards, we can actually laugh. Because it is a relief. But the anger was very real, and it is not belittling or reductive
laughter.

Idk, sg. Moms. What can one do? If mine were still here, I hope I would expect less of her. I always expected her to be different. I needed so much from her that she seemed not
able to give me. I also hope I would speak more directly to her. I was terribly indirect with her, always waiting for her to pick up that expected slack which she usually did not. We were a pair. Anger? Because I needed her.

I wish I could address your concerns here more directly.

P.S. It takes energy to get angry. If one is tired (not sleeping well) one may not have the energy to get angry....


Look at the stars/
See how they shine for you/
And everything you do/
And they was all yellow..../

 

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poster:Beckett thread:1008012
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111220/msgs/1008031.html