Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2012, at 10:12:59
In reply to Re: update » paisleygirl, posted by Dinah on January 18, 2012, at 22:44:41
I wanted to add that although my behavior generally hurt my relationship with my therapist, I was extremely fortunate to have a therapist who didn't give me ultimatums about terminations. He did once ask me what my response would be if he were to give me an ultimatum. But he then said he wouldn't do it.
I think I'd have interpreted an ultimatum as abandonment. Because even if I had complied, I'd always know that I couldn't trust him to be there. I'd have wondered when he would put another condition on his presence. I'd have felt like he used something that I considered almost sacred to manipulate me. I know I'd have felt those things because I did feel them just at his question. The question alone upset the therapeutic relationship for a while.
I was extremely fortunate. I had a therapist who was able to tolerate his feelings of helplessness and his anxiety. I'm sorry you weren't that fortunate. The fact that she wasn't is a statement about her and her limitations, not a statement about you and whether you are bad. Any limitations on her services should have been disclosed up front, and I hope she does that in the future.
I'm more surprised that the DBT therapist won't take you back. As I understand it, any DBT therapist worth his salt would see that your actions fall well within the range of expected for a potential client. They would treat this as a therapy-interfering behavior and be equipped to deal with it.
That being said, I also had an experience where I saw a pdoc once and quit and wasn't allowed to return. I still feel ashamed of that, even though I understand that the Wellbutrin I was on contributed to my behavior, and he wasn't a good enough pdoc to notice that. My next pdoc noticed it on the first session and added a mood stabilizer.
This is an opportunity to find better help than you've been offered thus far.
poster:Dinah
thread:1007661
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111220/msgs/1007759.html