Posted by Annabelle Smith on July 1, 2011, at 11:07:49
In reply to Re: update, posted by emmanuel98 on June 30, 2011, at 21:01:31
Thanks, Emmanuel.
I think I am also in the situation like you and Anna O-- a crazy transference just waiting for the right set of circumstances to bring it out. I also felt obsessed with my therapist from the second session and on. His compassion and kindness and complete acceptance filled the deepest longing and desire within me. I still need more-- I haven't yet had my fill.
I want to ask you something:
Think back to early on-- like after your first year with your p-doc. Would the thought of having to leave him have brought you to near panic and distress, to near complete loss of functionality? I don't know why I keep having these thoughts that I have to leave him. I really do have as long as I need. I could be here for 3-4 years. That is a long time to work through a lot of things.
I don't have other important corrective relationships in my life. Now is the perfect time for him to re-parent me. I want him to re-parent me. I wonder why it can't get intense. What would be wrong with that. He is probably worried about the increased suicidality. I don't have any other support groups, though. I have never had a struggle with drugs or alcohol, although I have a had a long struggle with food and sugar-abuse, although that is ever-present.
I want him to re-parent me. I want to really get better, not just put on a band-aid, which is what I feel like people are telling me. I often feel denied the access to real healing-- an access that other people get everyday by being re-parented, by being allowed to have an intense relationship. I always feel denied something, and this time it is not me denying myself (by not using the tools, etc.); it feels like others not wanting to spend time with me and help.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:989669
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/989918.html