Posted by emmanuel98 on December 14, 2010, at 21:40:07
In reply to Re: worse before better?, posted by Annabelle Smith on December 13, 2010, at 21:17:21
I don't know that I felt trapped. The truth is, I thought about him all the time. But I tended to think about him being with me, approving of me, aware of what I was doing or saying. I actually found this calming for a long time. I had a very messed up childhood and left home at 14, so he became a kind of surrogate parent for me. And I regressed to infancy, feeling attached to him the way a toddler attaches to it's caregiver.
It would be hard to replace him, I am sure. But at this early stage in therapy, not impossible. I've been seeing my p-doc for almost six years (though only monthly in the last year) and I could never replace him now. He occupies this space in my heart that could never be filled by someone else. We've been through this intense emotional experience together and he will always be important to me. When we cut back, I told him I was afraid he would fade from my mind. He said I hope I don't fade from your mind. You won't fade from my mind. I really won't forget you.
This made me feel so much better about cutting back, but I still miss him teribly sometimes.
poster:emmanuel98
thread:973459
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/973599.html