Posted by Solstice on December 11, 2010, at 20:45:29
In reply to Re: thoughts and over-attachment/ idealization, posted by Annabelle Smith on December 11, 2010, at 18:43:52
> Thank you, Solstice.
>
> What about the jealousy??I am puzzled by your therapist offering to let you work with him after he left the school. It's generally not considered appropriate for a therapist to have that kind of relationship with a former client, unless a LOT of time has passed. I cannot imagine how complex it would be for me to work with or for my therapist post-therapy. I think the therapeutic bond between therapist and client runs very deep and endures beyond the therapy. I think my therapist, if we had a working relationship post-therapy, would probably struggle with feeling a therapeutic responsibility toward me, and likewise I think that I would not be able to set aside my therapeutic expectations of the relationship. So maybe it is a good thing that you didn't take him up on the offer. You aren't done with your therapy - and he's the one you need as your therapist. I think it's as it should be.
As for your jealousy of the students who did take him up on the offer, I think those feelings are developmental and not terribly uncomon for therapy clients... especially for someone in your age group. If you go thru the archives, you'll find jealousy a common theme in therapeutic relationships... jealous of the therapist's wife, children, friends. Jealous of anyone with a 'closer' or more permanent relationship.
I think the jealousy you're describing subsides over time.. along with finding yourself - maturity - growing in your therapeutic relationship. Talk about it with him. What you are doing is classic for those of us with attachment issues.
Be kind to yourself.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:973063
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/973221.html