Posted by widget on August 24, 2010, at 2:48:44
After a rough time with PTSD incident (first of its kind) coupled with my therapist being gone for 2 weeks, I thought things were definitely better. And, they are. I told him I felt he wanted me to instantly feel "safe" as he was leaving town and I couldn't do it. He was very kind and assured me he didn't mean that and knew I would feel "safe" if I possibly could and that was a goal.
However, the issue is that I never got unconditional love as a child, especially from my father. I want that desperately. I want that from him as he is the kindest, most accepting person I have ever met. His solution is that therapy will help me develop self-love. I feel rejected AGAIN!!! Why can't he love me? I am feeling very sad again. He said it was terrible that I missed that love as a child. Of course, my hope was that I would be irresistible to him and find that love from him.
Well, I guess it is never going to happen. I have reached this point so many times before with him. How can I live with this? It is draining as well as humiliating. So tired. Realize I am repeating pattern from childhood in seeking love from man who is unavailable to me. Doesn't help with how I feel. Frustrated and hopeless. Widget
poster:widget
thread:959593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100706/msgs/959593.html