Posted by Dinah on July 1, 2010, at 13:35:19
In reply to 'You're Harmful!', posted by Verloren on July 1, 2010, at 12:56:28
Well, "I feel hurt" might be more conducive to continued conversation.
I know how you feel. My therapist used to do that, still does do it at times. It hurts. He'd do other things too that hurt.
Perhaps there was something in the suggestion that raised caution flags for her? And maybe she's extra careful because of your previous bad experience with therapists?
I'm at heart a pragmatist. My therapist wasn't going to stop doing what he thought was therapeutically correct no matter how much it upset me, and no matter how much I didn't think I needed it. I suppose I respect him for that.
But we did work something out. Whenever possible, I raise the issue first so that he won't. It doesn't hurt when I do it. And when I don't see the need, he always says something like "I know you really feel hurt (or upset or angry) when we talk about..., but I feel like I need to say...." It helps some to have him recognize how I feel, even if the result is the same.
I totally understand your feelings. But do you think it's possible to come to a compromise so that she can do what she feels she needs to do and you won't feel as hurt?
poster:Dinah
thread:952821
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100529/msgs/952831.html