Posted by violette on June 26, 2010, at 1:00:45
In reply to I still love my therapist, posted by widget on June 25, 2010, at 22:53:49
Hi Widget,
This is what I call 'therapy love' - Falling in love outside of therapy is also transference, from how I see it, but mature love is even more intimate-different dynamics then 'in love'. Do you feel both?
The in-love feelings are amplified by the psychotherapy setting, as you know, but due its one-sided nature, I think there are differences with therapy love and mature love.
I was just thinking about this today as well and read something about it on another website. A patient said falling in love with your therapist is analagous to falling in love with yourself. When someone continously reinforces your positive traits, accepts both the good and bad (and emphasizing the bad/guilt/shame acceptance), and understands you unlike no one before - those feelings can be internalized...and being in love is about feeling good about yourself.
Can you focus on internalizing the feelings that arise from being in love with T, thinking maybe this is about his acceptance, nurturing, and caring actually reflecting how YOU have been feeling for yourself from being in therapy with him? Though you don't want to give that up, perhaps you cam work on how you can carry it with you, because it is about you, then it may not be as difficult to think about losing it.
poster:violette
thread:952213
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100529/msgs/952223.html