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Leaving therapy - conflict

Posted by brokenpuppet on May 20, 2010, at 18:09:59

hi everyone! i've checked out psycho-babble once in a while and it seems like a nice 'community' of people who help each other and offer understanding and compassion (maybe that's what I'm hoping to get...)

i am very new at this - posting on the big scary internet (full of scary people i have never met ;), the anonymous thing helps a little i guess... i've been impressed by how most posters can be so open and honest and about very difficult and painful subjects.. so i'm gonna have a go and hopefully i can be myself...

i am in the process of leaving therapy, i still have a few sessions left but i've been an emotional wreck for the last few months. it is my decision to leave, i have an opportunity to go overseas for a while (1 year max) and i also felt it was time to fly off on my own. except a part of me is terrified and angry that i never listen to her, that i never asked her if SHE was ready. this is the problem, this huge conflict in myself (nothing new there), but i am trying to make peace, i am trying to make a decision that all parts of myself agree on. it's exhausting and i'm very new at this, sometimes i feel like i'm getting there, other times this self conflict feeds on itself and gets bigger and bigger.

i was wondering if anyone else out there has had similar experiences about leaving therapy or in general, making decisions when feeling conflicted?

i have been with the same therapist for a long time (7 years) and it is very hard and painful to let go. i don't feel like i am completely done in therapy, i would like to come back, maybe in a years time, but maybe see how i do on my own first. strangely enough, ever since i brought up the subject of leaving, i have been doing much better in therapy, been much braver, talked about things i would never have said 1-2 years ago. i started writing more but then i thought maybe i'll expand on it next time i post.

well, i think that's it for my first post... conflict conflict conflict...! maybe you have some stories or insight too




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