Posted by Verloren on March 9, 2010, at 12:05:06
In reply to What's going on in therapy + what to do about it?, posted by Marie Box on March 7, 2010, at 13:16:41
Your post really resonated with me. First, I'm sorry to hear you've been having difficulty with your therapy. I have been learning, therapy can be an overwhelming process.
If I may ask, Why do you think you might have to stop going before you are ready? I ask because I was and still am trying to decide if therapy is right for me right now.
Wanting to understand your therapist and their motives during therapy is not, by any means, a bad thing. Therapy is first and foremost about you. I really hope your T is a good one. If she is "good" then she should have no problems hearing your worries. She should not become frustrated toward you.
I suggest telling her about your worries and that you have not mentioned them before because you are concerned about her reaction and whether or not she would become frustrated.
I don't know what "normal" is or if it even actually exists. Besides, normal for you may be entirely different from normal for everyone else. Once I told my friend that I was doing better but that I wasn't quite back to normal yet. She replied, "you are normal, you just have a new normal now." That really made me smile because it reminded me that we are all ever-changing. There is no "getting back to" normal, there is only getting better. That's my take on it anyway.
The fact that you're in therapy trying to help yourself is evidence that you're not "one of the really 'crazy' people". And even if you were, therapy is the right place to be in.
Do you think your T is inadequate? Is it time to get a consultation with another T? Check out your options. Therapy is about you and if you feel like your needs are not being met then find a place where they will be. Why do you want to be in therapy? What do you want to get out of it? What do you see yourself as at the end of therapy? -Those are all deep questions to ask yourself.
Many people feel ashamed or embarrassed at what our Ts may think about us. Personally, I kept finding it unrealistic that any person would care enough to sit and listen to my problems without thinking I'm a nutjob. When I told my T this, she tried and tried to convince me otherwise. I still need convincing some days.
Once, I had to tell her something very embarrassing and I thought for sure she would get upset with me, so I typed it out and handed it to her to read while I sat there with a blanket over my head.
I look back at that and think, wow how goofy did I look sitting there completely covered with a blanket pretending that I wouldn't be as embarrassed if she couldn't see me. LOL! Luckily she was very gentle.
I hope yours will be gentle too. And I hope things start meshing well between you and her.
If you feel like you've been opening up and that's making you too uncomfortable, just go slower. It's okay to relax for a while. Therapy is at your pace and there is no set time frame for it; You will finish when you need. Don't worry about how long it takes.