Posted by antigua3 on March 6, 2010, at 21:49:17
In reply to Why do I need my therapist?, posted by Daisym on March 4, 2010, at 22:22:41
My thoughts are that you are right where you are, and that's a good thing. You are learning to fly, but he is still keeping the nest for you to come home to.
Secondary rewards (what's the right word?) are strong reasons for continuing therapy, but they are still a part of therapy.
You want/still need the security that your T provides, and he willingly provides it so perhaps you could try not to struggle so much against the question and just let things happen.
I used to think about my therapy all the time, but I don't anymore, but that's because I know the past as well as I can and I'm trying to move on, and without any help from T or psychiatrist, I'm amazed at how well I really do feel.
It's funny, but I'm still left with some of the main issues that I thought were important. I've learned more than I can describe, and learning to live with ourselves, love and forgive ourselves, and start to put the past behind us. For me, a lot of it had to do with processing the events, which is allowing me to let them go, and letting them go has freed me up energy wise. Suppressing, denial and fighting back from knowing take a tremendous toll--in energy and physical health, but once things start to move through you and out of you in a way (not saying that right), you realize how much time and energy has been lost. I regret the lost, long years in many ways, but I had to know and understand. But that doesn't mean knowing solves everything. It's learning to adapt, but in a healthy way.
Sorry, not making a lot of sense, but I wanted to give you hope. You are doing the right things. He is helping you. You may not have gotten to the bottom of the well and ready to start rising from the bottom of it, but you'll recognize when it happens. It's a wonderful feeling. But the power of it, as painful as it may be in still wanting to need him, the power comes from you.
All my best, Daisy,
antigus
poster:antigua3
thread:938580
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100303/msgs/938770.html