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Re: T with attitude problem?

Posted by Nadezda on December 31, 2009, at 9:38:05

In reply to Re: T with attitude problem? » rnny, posted by Verloren on December 31, 2009, at 1:06:34

I've been really lucky, I think. I don't remember running into a T with too much attitude. I've seen ones for an appointment or two who said things that upset me, but I'm not sure that it was their fault. I can be very sensitive to what seems like criticism, or take things as hurtful that aren't even intended in the way I think.

A few I really didn't like and therefore didn't want to see again. There are Ts who are self-involved, or have an attitude-- Ts run the gamut of human reactions and types-- although one hopes they're more aware of their limitations, and have worked through their issues to the point of handling what gets stirred up professionally and on their own-- unless it's helpful to the P to bring it up.

After all the turmoil with my T in the last few years, I've become more optimistic about accepting that others, including a T, may not be aware of (or thinking of) the resonance for me of what they say. And sometimes things I dwell on may not "mean" that much. Ts may not be trying to be critical or express an attitude, as opposed to trying to give you honest feedback, that may seem critical, but truly is meant as helpful. In the moment--and even afterward, it can be hard to untangle what was their part in the hurtfulness and what was mine (of misinterpreting or being too denfensive about things I need to think about). I've given up on it-- having found a good T, in my mind, I try to accept that growth can require difficult, chaotic moments as well as smoother or more attuned moments.

The way I see it, we can choose a T, who's a good fit, and after that, commit ourselves to learning as much as we can, despite misunderstandings, or genuine insensitivity that they can have to our issues.

Nadezda


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